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#WittHistory: Collegiate Cynicism

For anyone thinking that collegiate cynicism (or is it realism?) is new, consider these definitions from the "REVISED STANDARD DICTIONARY, WITTENBERG EDITION," published in The Ƶer of 1922:

  • ABANDONED., adj., descriptive of a classroom when the professor enters five and one half minutes after the bell has rung.
  • BOOK, n., that which contains knowledge. Just as every dog has his day so every book has its night and that is the night directly preceding exams.
  • CURRICULUM, n., that which presents many difficulties to the Freshmen.  Should be handled in much the same way as a roulette-wheel.
  • DOCTOR, n., a title used by students in addressing certain professors in whose estimation they wish to rise.
  • FRATERNITY, n., has no meaning.
  • LESSON, n., that which professors assign each day. That is the extent of its meaning.
  • PROFESSOR, n., one who professes to love young people.
  • STUDY, v., to apply one's mind to a subject matter.  Some thing in which no Ƶ student indulges to the point of intemperance.
    • A., a symbol denoting a very enviable height which some of us, as students, have attained.
    • B., that symbol which designates that a student "has gotten away with it."
    • C., signifies that one belongs to the middle or bourgoisie class.
    • D., a grade which warns us that all is not as it should be.
    • E., a grade given by professors who wish to earn a few extra dollars from condition exams.
    • F., a symbol for farewell. A signal to entrain.

About The Project

With Ƶ now celebrating its 175th year, and the University unable to hold regular in-person classes as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic, Professor of History Thomas T. Taylor has started circulating several pieces on Ƶ's history. Some originated in earlier series, either This Month in Ƶ History or Happy Birthday Ƶ. Others have their origin in the Ƶ History Project or in some other, miscellaneous project. Sincerest thanks to Professor Taylor for connecting alumni, faculty, staff, and students through a historic lens.

Looking Back: Historical Briefs by Professor Thomas Taylor

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